on a day like today

snow makes everything exciting. so does twitter.

classes after 4:40 were canceled today. so I took a 30 minute bus ride to st paul to retrieve my car, which I had parked there in preparation for my evening class. there was at least three inches already, so you can only imagine the driving conditions. lets just say I only made it halfway up one hill before I had to hit neutral and roll my way back down the hill. it took me over an hour to do what is normally the 25 minute commute, and that was with me staying off the already bumper-to-bumper highways. over an hour and an entire quarter tank of gas. my car was not made for winter driving.

but, i experienced the sheer power of twitter today. I'll share two links:

http://search.twitter.com - this is twitter's search engine. I don't get it's not linked anywhere on the home page, but for some reason it's not.
http://twiterfall.com - this is twitter's search engine on steriods. it's basically a gui for the search function.

but starting here, you can see what force this little blizzard (really, it was little in terms of what the midwest SHOULD be used to) had on the twitter network. #snowmageddon was the #1 search for at least two-three hours today. it ranked on top of many twitter trend lists. and honestly, since what I'd have prefered to do (see: cuddle with love and watch lost) with the moc-white-out, it was the best way to experience the bliz'rd.

i was connected to a huge group of people, sharing pictures, stories, tid-bits, interesting thoughts. @pfutz provided sarcastic comentary. I saw pictures of the bumper-to-bumper i had avoided, heard a story of a car on fire desperately trying to be drentched by it's owner with snow, heard about the class closings the moment it was decided, @city_pages informed me that punch was giving away free pizza to the brave souls who made it out, and when the city declared the snow emergency, I was able to save myself a phone call and move my car and not get towed.

twitter is blowing up yo. fox 9 news (my go-to) reported that this time, the UofM informed their students of class closings with a new technology (new?) called twitter. fbook just failed at aquiring twitter at the cost of $100 mil, and it's being touted as the next YouTube.

oh hay, RT @towmageddon Hey MSP - 8 inches of fluff and counting.

overheard on a sunday

Sundays in Dinkytown always provide interesting overheard conversations. Of course, it's hard to overhear anything with skull candy ear-buds in (which are by far the best ear-buds I have ever owned). But even the brief moments where my ears are free from booka shade pandora radio, I am enamored by the nonsense I hear.

Today, I'm at Espresso Royale, and have been since 9 am. It was pretty much empty when I got here, but now there are only a few free tables and no free chairs. The mass seems to be made up of groups of students (girls mainly) who are meeting up to do their homework. Their laptops are on the table, but either closed or opened to facebook. And the conversation topics are anything BUT scholarly. It seems that these rendezvous are mainly to discuss the happenings of the weekend. Who did what? He did not say that. I can't believe how drunk she was. Do you remember what we did last night?

Or, as I stand outside hoping my laptop isn't stolen while I have my back turned, I watch two "thugs" emerge from the 'towner. One is following the other. They get halfway down the block when the leader starts yelling, turns around and slugs the other. It's very anticlimactic, the one who got hit just runs away, but still provides a certain degree of entertainment and fascination.

i kno

i'm a sentinel. i stand alone, watching, finding idioms, vibrations, small changes in the weather. obviously. obviously i notice, the attempt to smile, obviously i notice the darting eyes, no contact. obviously, really. 

i stand guard, guarding who knows what. the heat, the sounds, the energy inside. the door stands closed, waiting. 

unofficial and arbitrary, i allow few to pass, send most away. this is not for them. 

it's not really about death

It's that hope. It's such a double edge sword. It brings so much to look forward to but also doubt and fear. Hope is not absolute, and doesn't promise anything. Hope gives you something to shoot for, something to wait for, something to work towards, but there's no guarantees. There's nothing for-certain in hope. It takes a lot of faith.

25 things

Really though. The 25 things lists? Really? Be forewarned, the following is ranterly.

Why!? Why? Didn't everyone get the 25 things list out of their system in middle school? But the best thing about them, the best thing, is how everyone sounds so freaking reluctant to do it. "Fine, I'll do it" "yeah, I'm that tool who is making a 25 things list" "I don't get why everyone is doing these, but..." Really folks? Really? If you think they're a waste of time, DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME!

Sorry. 

we just had another one, baby

Definitions of hope on the Web:

• a specific instance of feeling hopeful; "it revived their hope of winning the pennant"

• the general feeling that some desire will be fulfilled; "in spite of his troubles he never gave up hope"

• promise: grounds for feeling hopeful about the future; "there is little or no promise that he will recover"

• expect and wish; "I trust you will behave better from now on"; "I hope she understands that she cannot expect a raise"

• someone (or something) on which expectations are centered; "he was their best hope for a victory"

• be optimistic; be full of hope; have hopes; "I am still hoping that all will turn out well"

There is so much to hope for. So much in the way of the world that will get better with time. I can't even describe the way it works. One minute you're engulfed in flames, the next minute the snow is melting and the sun warms you. Be optimistic. Be promised. Be desire.

Yet in this state of hopefulness, there is something missing. There is the longing for change that dissipates, that you grew comfortable with. That woke you up in the morning and cuddled you to sleep at night. That you fought through all day, that became your best friend and your worse enemy.

There is no more fear. Both sides are calm.

You wake one morning with what feels like a fading memory. Is it a hang over? Was it ever there? You awake to find the sun, which you haven't seen in weeks, pouring through the basement windows. You feel warmth that has not been felt for months. A slight tremble, followed by a larger vibration, and all that is frozen is rattled loose. All that has held the world in place is shaken. The freedom is empowering, but it leaves much to be desired. It would leave a hole in the heart if the heart was there. Don't ever let the freedom fool you. You are never free. You are never free. You revile in this realization. You smile to know that you are connected. The flames have subsided, the cold is dissipating, and the love is stronger than every. The love is desired. The love becomes freedom, and takes over the supports of the frozen world. Standing guard, the love will never leave you. The love with protect you.
And then the smoke leaves the lungs, and clears the air, the beauty of the world is finally again visible. No longer in hiding, no longer a distant memory. Deep in the smile you can see she is ready. Deep in her hair you can smell she is waiting. Deep in her brown eyes, you can see she is love. You've felt so far away, but the gravity has finally pulled you back in. No longer floating, with two feet on the ground, you approach everyday knowing. Not knowing what, but knowing. The earthquake is no more.
Don't you miss the excitement? Sometimes her eyes don't tell you enough. Sometimes it's not clear. Sometimes her beauty distracts her. Sometimes, just sometimes, the pain creeps back. But there is no fear, embracing what is to come, hand in hand with love. Hand in hand, allowing gravity to pull you closer, allowing gravity to keep you grounded, alive in this world.
Hand in hand you keep walking.
Hand in hand you follow the sun into the moon and into the stars.
Hand in hand you build on those fading memories, stacking one on one until the bridge has been built. One by one until you are connected again, with nothing between you.
Hand in hand, hand in hand, hand in hand.